• Free 12 Week Course
  • Press & Speaking
  • Free Consult
  • Birth Resources
  Holistic Fertility
Connect with Us:

The Exciting (and Relatively New) Field of Prenatal & Perinatal Psych

11/30/2011

 
Take Home Messages - let me present them right up front:

  • Babies are sentient - totally and fully aware - before they are born
  • Babies know what’s going on for their moms/families
  • Babies need emotional support
  • Honest apologies and acknowledgements (delivered sincerely & succinctly) work wonders for kids who remember tough times


Growing up, I was the baby of the family. In fact, I was the youngest on both sides – all of my cousins were brought onto this earth a solid 5-20 years before I was.  So the family joke is that all the good stuff happened before I was born. We went on this great trip - before you were born. We used to host a lot of parties - before you were born. Or, we had such a good dog, but - that was before you were born.

Of course, the joke usually refers to times before I was even conceived, but nonetheless it turns out quite a bit happens before any of us are born. And during that tender nine-month phase in which we are hanging out quite a bit with our mommies, we generally know much more about what’s going on for her than we can remember to tell her about (especially once we pass a certain age).

Developmental theories in the field of psychology are trying to catch up to the true capacities of babies – both before birth and into the first many months of life! And as prenatal and perinatal psychologists have been saying for many years now, your little babe is remarkably sentient (conscious, aware, responsive, & awake) and has been since well before he or she was born!

Take for example the case of Stevie, whose story was shared in Dr. Wendy McCarty’s book Welcoming Consciousness. In play therapy with Dr. McCarty, 4 year-old Stevie used the toys and little figurines in her office to tell his own perspective of a trip taken when his mom was pregnant with him:

He marched in and put the outdoor scene up high on a folded futon. He wouldn’t tell his mother and me the story, we had to guess it… I started asking his mom when they might have been at an outdoor scene like the one portrayed – as a child, as an infant? The mom paused, “I don’t think it could be it, but when I was five months pregnant with him, I had a trip to a place like that and it was a very stressful weekend.” Bingo – he smiled. Over the next thirty minutes, he brought out more objects to add to the scene. We were to guess each time what scenario he was depicting.

He essentially told several specific elements of the weekend’s events in sequence! Each piece was something that was emotionally charged and had held the mother’s intense focus during the stressful trip. He was clearly upset about it all. During the session, his mother got that he was “very there” during this intense weekend experience. She realized that she had been so stressed and focused on meeting the crises that she hadn’t considered that Stevie, 5 months in utero, could be consciously aware of the events and her stressful responses to them, or could be directly affected by them. After she told him how sorry she was and empathized with how hard it must have been, he acted proudly complete with the matter… I don’t think Stevie could have verbalized the story in sequence, but as we were in it, he rather organically came up with  piece after piece.

Here’s another example. A 2 year-old child I knew began asking her mom one day about California (a place where several family members had lived), when her mother told her that she’d never been there. The little girl in her budding language said she had, she’d been there. She said, “I went in your lap in the car.” Her mom laughed, gently telling her that mommies don’t ever let kids sit in their laps while driving, that it had never happened. And after a little persistence, the conversation ended. Later as she thought about it, though, the mom realized she had driven to California while she was pregnant. She asked me, “Could it possibly be true that my daughter actually remembers this?”

It could. 

Babies and young kids do remember various early-life events, particularly events that were charged with a lot of emotional content for their mothers. They often try to work through some of these memories as they grow older… sometimes they can do it on their own, and sometimes they need a little guidance or acknowledgement. Early experiences certainly can still affect adults who no longer remember anything on a conscious level about them. Perhaps that’s something for you to explore. But as for your kids, don’t let it get that far.


Comments are closed.

    Author

    Mary Goyer, M.S.  specializes in mind-body approaches to fertility, pregnancy, birth and parenthood - blending her training as a Marriage & Family therapist with her holistic expertise and deep spiritual connection. 

    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Affirmations
    Astrology
    Birth
    Communication
    Emotional Health
    Fertility
    Healthy Spaces
    Holistic Approaches
    Holistic Parenting
    Neurology
    Physical Health
    Prayer
    Pregnancy
    Sexuality
    Spiritual Health
    Stress
    Support

    Archives

    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    April 2012
    February 2012
    November 2011

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.