Just how common is infertility? According to the CDC (the source for all of the stats to follow) almost 12% of American women (ages 15-44) have trouble getting pregnant and seek some sort of medical support or infertility treatments to get pregnant.

Wow. That statistic alone is enough to boggle your mind. It means that someone you know is dealing with infertility, be it a close friend, a coworker, or someone you sit behind at church. And you can guess that estimate of 12%, which equals around 7.3 million women, is a bit low since there are probably more women out there who don't (or can't) seek treatment in the traditional venues.

Here's another issue you may not have considered. About a third of infertility cases are linked back to the male partner, which turns out to be quite the taboo. Men who are infertile often have to deal with insensitive jokes or incredibly awkward silences from friends who are uncomfortable dealing with the idea of infertility. Questioning somebody's masculinity reflects a lack of education - and is never very funny. I even heard a story in which one guy's "friend" teased him saying maybe he needed some help gettin' the job done. Can you imagine that?! Terrible.

Then there's secondary infertility. About 11% of couples who already have a child have difficulty getting pregnant again. Again, that number is probably a low estimate.

When a couple is going through fertility treatments (which range in cost but can easily land anywhere from $8-$15,000 for each attempt) they are trying to balance physical and emotional stressors: frequent appointments, time away from work, hormonal ups & downs on top of other physical symptoms, the pain of the procedures... and for all that, the average success rate hovers near 24%.

So what good does this information do for the rest of you, those that have little ones (or grand-little ones) traipsing about? For now, let it serve as a gentle reminder that these friends in your community need your support. They need you to understand some of how hard it can be for them to become parents - they're up to their ears in sobering statistics.

Will they want to talk about it with you? Likely not. It's a raw, vulnerable process, isn't it. But never underestimate the gesture behind saying to someone, "Wow. I'm sorry you're going through that. Let me know what I can do." And mean it. 

P.M.S. Pretty. Miserable. Sister. 
Sorry, had to do it... it's so true sometimes, isn't it?

I have good news and bad news about pre-menstrual syndrome. The good news is it can be minimized significantly, or altogether eliminated, with some effort and mental work (herbs/acupuncture won't hurt either).

The bad: it takes time. If you only work with your PMS while you're in the middle of crampy - grumpiness, you probably won't make a lot of headway. 

PMS can show up for women for a few different mental or emotional reasons, and sometimes you have to dig kind of deep to find out how such seemingly subtle patterns can be influencing your cycle so much.

There are three categories of patterns that are the most common for women with PMS.

1. Mental confusion or overwhelm: Do you have a lot going on in your mind? If you tend to be in your head a lot, it can make it difficult to keep tabs of how well things move and circulate in your body. Body practices such as yoga will make a big difference in how you feel, both because of what they offer physically, but also because they help you give your mind a rest from time to time.
2. Giving your power away: We're not just talking about giving your power away to a man, here (although that'd certainly do the trick). Giving your power away is a huge problem for a lot of women, because giving is part of our nature and we love doing it. But when you give too much - to your family, to your "responsibilities", to your career, to your emotions - it can set up a number of patterns. Disempowerment. Victimhood. Martyr roles. Not Enough-ness (time, money, energy)... This one's a biggie.
3. Rejection of the feminine processes: The curse. A hassle. A pain. Guys are so lucky to not have to have a period. Don't feel too badly if you've ever wished you didn't have to deal with your period (I'm guilty on this one, too)... but just imagine what such consistent thoughts would create in anyone's body. It's not easy during a cramp to be glad you're a woman. But if you've got this pattern running, that on some level you reject part of your feminine nature, you'll find it isn't just about your period. It's rearing its head elsewhere, too. I virtually guarantee it.