So put your micro-focus glasses on, batman! I want to help you wrap your head around at least a few of the details of this fertility to conception story.
Laura was working with me remotely, meaning we did our sessions via phone. One day, we connected up and started our time as we usually did, with a period of check-ins. How was your week? What have you noticed since our last meeting? How did your home/self-treatment go? Is anything in particular up for you right now?
Laura reported having had a pretty good week, and that she really felt some of the issues we’d done some healing work on during the previous session totally melt away. We had honed in on some sticking points for her around being a woman (and she’s not alone, let me tell you…) such as: being discriminated against at work because she’s attractive, feeling like she has to be perfect as a woman in order to be taken seriously, and feeling betrayed by her own body because she couldn’t get pregnant without help. She was excited to tell me how differently she was feeling about all of that stuff.
At the same time, however, she felt confused. Because she could tell that there was some really great shifting happening in her life because of our work, and she truly was excited about that. But at the same time, it seemed like every good shift came hand-in-hand with an increasing level of anxiety.
She didn’t know what to make of that. Why would anyone in their right mind feel MORE stressed when they could see they were making progress? Why wasn’t she simply happy?! She didn’t know.
From my perspective, when this kind of ambivalence shows up, it’s good information. It’s totally normal to feel (conscious or subconscious) conflict about healing. Think about it. If there wasn’t conflict on a certain level about something in your life changing – if there wasn’t some part of you that believed it was all going to backfire somehow – then you’d seamlessly and easily change. Simple as that. Change would have already happened! So when clients become more aware of what their conflicts are about the healing process, I know we’re getting somewhere!
Laura wasn’t sure why she felt anxious, though. She just felt it. So our first step was to do a little meditation that both helped her to find where in her body the stress was located (stomach, neck, and forehead) and also what the stress was about.
As she tuned in, the fears started to show up to the spotlight. What if I’m making a mistake by not going ahead with the fertility procedures my doctor wanted me to do? What must my doctor think of me? She probably thinks I’m stupid or naïve. What if I AM stupid and naïve to think this will all help? What if this energy-work-stuff doesn’t work and it’s my fault for trying? Or worse yet, what if I fail at it somehow, and I prolong the entire timeline?
Can you relate? Would you be glad to:
-Feel faithful in trusting your internal wisdom?
-Use the suggestions of professionals to support you in finding your personal truth (not overriding it)?
-And my personal favorite, confidently take alternative paths in life even when there’s pressure to stay on the mainstream road?
So what happens once a person identifies the fears that are making their stomachs clench, or the traumas that are paralyzing their change process? We tune in to figure out which healing process will work best for them (we individualize this part) to shift out those fears and traumas.
Laura noticed that some of her fears calmed a bit just in the process of naming them out loud. This is normal, and in fact is what traditional therapy is all about. But I didn’t want her anxieties to go just from an overwhelmingly high 10 to a still high 8… I wanted her distress down at a 1 or 2. So we utilized a technique that’s designed to do just that. We shifted into full-on healing mode, which took about ten minutes that day. And then it was basically done, so we moved on. So it continued during our weekly sessions that spanned the next few months… uncovering the subconscious stuff sitting in the body, then moving it out. Uncover, shift, rinse, and repeat.
As everything unfolded during our time together, Laura felt more aligned, more at ease, and more empowered around this big picture of wanting to have kids. And as you know, she did end up getting pregnant just a short while later. Win-win… she had a baby to look forward to & she cleared up a lot of gunk everywhere in her life in the meantime.
That's what this work is all about, the win-win. What's good for your fertility is benefitial everywhere in your world... :)
P.S. If you think you might like to learn more about the emotional side to fertility - let's talk. Fill out the form on www.aufertility.com/discovery to see if it's right for you.