Stress to Success: Week 3
Self Care
Objective: Develop a simple system for self-care that’s practical and effective in cultivating more peace, trust & ease during each stage of fertility/birth prep.
Why does Self-Care become a chore for us?
A word on resistance. Why is it important to treat resistance with one of your healing tools when it comes up?
1. So you don’t get stuck
2. What you resist, persists; power struggle
3. So you don’t start the shame spiral & guilt spiral
4. It changes the chemical responses in your body so fight/flight goes back into rest/relax
Every-day Self Care Barriers
Objective: Develop a simple system for self-care that’s practical and effective in cultivating more peace, trust & ease during each stage of fertility/birth prep.
Why does Self-Care become a chore for us?
- block or a "reversal" to overall self nourishment (see below for reversal clearing)
- upper limit problem
- early conditioning to be a good girl/boy
- externalized power, externalized sense of expert
- Push/Drive/Compete/Produce
A word on resistance. Why is it important to treat resistance with one of your healing tools when it comes up?
1. So you don’t get stuck
2. What you resist, persists; power struggle
3. So you don’t start the shame spiral & guilt spiral
4. It changes the chemical responses in your body so fight/flight goes back into rest/relax
Every-day Self Care Barriers
- TV
- Alcohol and sugar
- Look at how many self care strategies you use weekly - do you have varied options?
- Identifying your energy drains
- Saying "I don't have time..."
Why does the "fertility to-do" list become another source of stress?
- Spreading your energy in too many directions without sufficient time/space.
- Feeling like all changes need to be done yesterday.
- Too much angst to enjoy the healthy changes being made.
- Putting energy into lots of things you can't control, and draining yourself around the things you can - the only helpful use for "worry"
Building A New Relationship with "To Dos"
- doesn't ever include "no-time" as a reason for not prioritizing something
- look at what makes you feel heavy and what makes you feel light
- notice the "inner game" issues as they arise and treat them
- infuse the meditation breaks, pleasure breaks, and nature breaks that are most nourishing for you
- streamline your processes (i.e. cooking once a week for several hours versus nightly)
- include FUN things on your list
Transformational Processes
1) Pledge Spot (from last week)
Even though I'm making a lot of changes , I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
a) making a lot of changes
b) I feel stressed about time
c) I'm holding a lot of space for myself
2) Reversal Clearing
Step 1: Identify the reversals (aka "old beliefs" or "limiting beliefs") you carry. Take a look at these examples.
1) Pledge Spot (from last week)
Even though I'm making a lot of changes , I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
a) making a lot of changes
b) I feel stressed about time
c) I'm holding a lot of space for myself
2) Reversal Clearing
Step 1: Identify the reversals (aka "old beliefs" or "limiting beliefs") you carry. Take a look at these examples.
Step 2: Plug all of the relevant prompts from the list below into the "reversal clearing" formula listed below that. While rubbing the sore spots on the chest, (down three inches from the sternal notch and three inches out to each side from the center) repeat the Reversal Repair Formula (with thanks to Gary Craig).
We'll use this treatment to cover all issues around self care, as our example.
1. I don’t want to get over (name issue).
2. It’s not safe to get over (name issue).
3. I don’t deserve to get over (name issue).
4. I won’t give myself permission to get over (name issue).
5. It won’t benefit me to get over (name issue).
6. It’s impossible for me to get over (name issue).
7. I won’t get over (name issue).
8. I won’t do what I have to do to get over (name issue).
9. I’ll be deprived if I get over (name issue).
10. I’ll lose my identity if I get over (name issue).
11. I’ll be confused if I get over (name issue).
12. I’ll be ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed if I get over (name issue).
13. I’ll be blamed, criticized if I get over (name issue).
14. I’ll hate myself if I get over (name issue).
15. I’ll hurt myself if I get over (name issue).
16. I’ll misuse it if I get over (name issue).
17. This problem is worse than I think it is.
18. I don’t really need to fix it.
19. I won’t know what to do with myself if I clear this.
20. I’ll be empty if I clear this.
21. Something’s in the way of my clearing this.
22. I want this problem to get much, much worse.
23. It won’t help if I clear this.
24. Something terrible will happen if I clear this.
25. Someone doesn’t want me to clear this. (If yes, then insert various names and retest.)
26. Someone does not deserve for me to clear this. (If yes, insert names and retest).
27. It is not safe for someone for me to clear this. (If yes, insert names and retest).
Reversal Repair Formula:
Even though (insert one of the above reversals) , and even though (insert next reversal) , and even though (insert next reversal) , etc. (include each reversal that tested positive.)
I deeply and completely love and accept myself, honor and respect myself, and forgive myself for whatever part I may have played in (name the problem) , and I forgive (name or names of others/everyone else) for whatever part they may have played in causing me to struggle with (name the problem) .
