Stress to Success: Week 12
    In-Lightened Birth, a Smoother "4th Trimester", & Foster/Adopt Resources 

C-Sections V. Vaginal Births
  • Hormones, Chemicals, and Bacteria - the advantages of a vaginal birth
  • Why so many C-Sections are performed
  • What you can start doing now to prep your body for birth - physiologically
  • The Pink Kit - Birth Prep Skills
  • Knowing your rights
  • Advocating for yourself & sticking to your plan
  • Being okay going with the flow, "the other plan"
Click here for article: "I didn't realize the pressure to have a C-Section until I was about to deliver" 
An In-Lightened Birth:
  • Intention for supporting a consciousness-intact experience
  • Birth meditation, hypnosis
  • Pleasure, connection, and "ease" cultivated
  • Supports in place
  • Not "pushing into the pain"
  • Dialoguing with baby - teamwork attitude
  • Birth feels empowering, confidence-building
  • Contributes to belief that you can tune in to your combined wisdom, the wisdom of your support team, and figure most anything out - back checked by your intuition
  • Dad and other VIPs involved (in the room, or energetically connected)
  • Download the file (right) with info on prepping for an In-lightened Birth
in-lightened_birthing_outline.dox
File Size: 46 kb
File Type: dox
Download File
Pre-Empting Post Partum Depression
  • Do your personal work ahead of time (at least 3-6 months before birth)
  • Connection to mother's groups, ideally both online AND in-person - set up your village ASAP! 
  • ASK FOR HELP - everywhere you can. For all you independent, self-sufficient types, your new mantra is: "yes, thanks, I'd love some help" even if the task at hand is one you can handle. Learn to flex this muscle as often as you can.
  • Pay for support: post partum doula, lactation specialist, personal meal services (see note below on nutrition).
  • Request meal drop-offs (see Angie Needle's talk on www.auparent.com), healthy green drinks, laundry elves, etc., when people offer to help. Have a close friend or husband organize it more or less ahead of time so you can just receive. 
  • Pre-schedule a few massages and support meetings from a therapist or me. 
  • Notice the difference between "nesting" impulses and lethargy - especially if you're prone to depression.
  • SLEEP - do whatever you can to prioritize your rest. Pay for a night doula if you can.
  • FOOD - make sure you're getting the nutrients your body needs. Depression is highly linked to inflammation, so have anti-inflammatory foods (that you enjoy & are easy to prep) around the house if you don't have anyone doing meal-prep for you.
  • Lower your bar, without guilt.


Relationships that Thrive During Shift into Parenthood
  • Partnership
  • Realistic Expectations
  • Well-Resourced
  • Spaciousness

What are the causes to the most common relationship problems during “the first year” as parents? 
  • Dad feels excluded/jealous and retreats
  • Mom has unrealistic expectations of herself, becomes consumed with being "perfect mom"
  • Communication difficulties, if present to begin with, are exacerbated
  • Couple feels under-resourced as parents, begin to blame each other for frustration

Tips for transcending relationship pit-falls
  • Have realistic expectations for yourselves - do your research - so that when things are difficult, you feel prepared
  • Have as many resources/emotional outlets as possible - especially for dads this is difficult (he needs to have people he's comfortable talking to
  • Tap into mothers groups & fathers groups for support - having people get what you're going through goes a long way
  • Attend to any major "weak links" in your connection before birth when possible, and be okay with knowing new weak links are going to be revealed.
  • Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill - but don't let an issue fester, either. 
  • If the stress level is high, know that your relationship (and sex life) might be the canary in the coal mine. 
  • Great book: Becoming Us, by Elly Taylor


Adoption/Fostering Info

Next Steps for You
  • If you're still prepping for conception...
  • If you're considering adoption or fostering...
  • If you're pregnant...
  • If your relationship needs more support...
  • Future goals/work: money patterns, career changes, parenting challenges, important decisions, spiritual expansion & consciousness growth